Originally published in Deccan Herald on 22 may '26
A mother’s fear of scarcity gets transmuted into an urgency around money which the child internalises as her own personality.
Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, an unannounced transfer occurs. A parent’s unspoken fear becomes our ambition, a family’s definition of what counts as a life well lived becomes our standard.
And the community’s old shames settle into the nervous system as something that feels indistinguishable from personal guilt. We do not remember accepting any of this. But by the time we are old enough to notice, the weight already feels like part of us.
The weight was placed before the question of consent was even available to us, and not all of it in the same way.
A mother’s fear of scarcity gets transmuted into an urgency around money which the child internalises as her own personality.
Similarly, a father’s equation of dignity with professional rank subtly shapes the child’s aspirations and perceived shortcomings.
